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3 billion reasons


There are three billion reasons for which Java should get an official update, yesterday. Here they are, in the form of a small graphic novel:

The skiddie sets his (unsophisticated) trap

An unsuspecting browser approaches, lured by promises of FREE STUFF, but is at first turned away:

But the missing software is just a few clicks away!

Briefly skimming the EULA, the mark continues.

Apparently, it’s a really popular download. Who knew?

Oh well. Back to browsing. Ho hum. Wait. What’s this? No FREE STUFF?

Meanwhile, there’s rejoicing in the skiddie lair (aka The Cupboard under the Stairs)!

…followed shortly by curiosity (not the rover, the other one)

…in turn overwhelmed by a tendency towards practical jokes. Hmm… how to signal a victim that they’ve been schooled? School… school… unpleasantness… Ah! Inspiration! Maths! Maths sucks! Here’s a calculator, that should help!

“Did I just start that? I was just browsing, here! What’s this? Oh. A calculator. Well that can’t be bad, can it?”

But the skiddie has darker designs, too. Those pesky antiviruses might yet give the game away.

And it’s off to the races!

Now, if this reads to you as an advertisement for Metasploit, you may be in the wrong business. If on the other hand it’s making you question the Java update policy and wondering if it may be time for an unofficial patching framework to match, you might want to drop us a line.

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