I honestly feel like I’m in a scene from Billy Madison. Amazon has finally released a smartphone, and since Amazon PR won’t talk to us ever since I leaked the Amazon Kindle 2 like six years ago, I had to go buy one today in order to play with it. The radio silence also might have something to do with all of our incredible reporting detailing every single angle and feature of the phone prior to release, but… anyway. Amazon has spent so much money on the Fire phone, it’s incredibly incredible how downright horrible it is. The project was almost forced to release years ago, and I just can’t comprehend what device we would be talking about if that had actually happened.